Surprise!!!

Today, I popped home for lunch, it was around my usual time. There was a bike out front that didnt belong to my kids. I figured someone was in the house, which of course was against the rules!

I walked in and Jerrod looked startled. The kid from down the street was in the house, upstairs with Quinton.

When I quizzed the boys, of course, no one had let corey in, he walked in the house on his own, each boy thought the other had let him in, with permission of course, so no one told him to leave......

Hmmmmm...... No one has ever "walked in" when I was home...

Rope Burn

How does my 8 year old get rope burn on his neck, "From the window blinds?" I guess I will never get the real story....

The Catfish

What exactly am I supposed to do with a foot long cat fish in a cooler, with no water, sucking for air?

Yeah right, like I am gonna clean it, take it back to the river!!!!!

Missing Dish Soap

Did you know that if you put a little dish soap on the kitchen floor with a lot of water, it makes a great slip and slide!?

Kipton Called me!!!

If you are a fan of the bachelorette, you know that Jillian passed on Kipton last night and chose Ed. I was commenting on how hot Kipton is and even said, oh, poor Kipton, I will fix your broken heart....

At about 10 minutes until 10, my cell phone rang, it was a blocked number, so naturally, I didnt answer.....

A few minutes later, I was notified of a voice mail.

"Hello, this is Kipton, your son Zachary called me and told me you think I am hot. He told me if I got kicked off the show, I should come to your house, I will be there in ten minutes."

HA HA Zachary!

E-Harmony

Why is it that everytime I get home from work, the E-harmony website is up on my laptop?
Jerrod finally told me that he logged on to E-Harmony to find me a man.......... Like I need another one! These three are enough!

Wedgie Wars

Astonished to find by boys giving each other wedgies (did I spell that right?), I asked them what the heck they were doing. You know that HANES commercial where Sarah Chalk is and her friends are trying to get rid of wedgies.....

Yep, the boys decided to give each other wedgies so they could try out the various methods of de-wedging shown in the commercials.

Reportedly, all the funky positions sarah chalk finds herself in, do actually work to elliminate the wedgie!

Check the Breaker Box

If you are sitting in the house and your power mysteriously flickers on and off and your children are missing, check the breaker box. Jerrod and Quinton found their way into the cellar from the outside, where they decided to flip the breaker to "scare" zachary. They didnt know I was already home.

Now, if its only your TV turning on and off, check to make sure that one of your children isnt outside with the remote, turning the tv on and off from the outside. Did you know that this will work on your neighbors house too.....

Hide your car Keys

Did you know that your car key, when used to remove a wheel from healys (those shoes with skates in the bottom) will bend completely in half.

The Bachelorette

I was commenting today on one of the guys on bachelorette, of course, they are all hot and of course I would comfort any of them (He he) anyway, I was commenting on one of the guys and one of the boys said "you should go on there next mom," I said, "I think I am a little old and not quite hot enough for that show" Quinton so kindly responded, "you can always get liposuction!"
Out of the mouths of babes.......

Ive been duped

I entered the living room to find a rock in my TV screen. As the steam boiled up and out of my ears and I started screaming at them, they had the nerve to laugh at me. How can you think this is so funny?????

Apparently it was a stick on rock, I was duped..... (thank goodness!)

Superman..... leaps and bounds!!!

I just thought of this story...... We were moving furniture at the house in San Antonio and I put the big TV on the coffee table (it has wheels) so I could move it across the room. I then put the TV up on the new entertainment center, but it was pitched a little bit forward, because I put it too close to the wall. (can you see where this is going yet?)

I left the room momentarily, to find Jerrod, I think he might have been 2 or 3 at the time jumping from the coffee table, to the entertainment center. As he jumped onto the entertainment center, he grabbed on to the TV and, YEP, it fell off the entertainment center and pinned him to the floor.

Picture this, the TV was diagonal, Jerrod was pinned to the floor at the stomach. Of course, the TV was too heavy for me to lift that far by myself, I just couldnt get it up. Zachary was 7 or 8 and he was trying to help me lift the TV off my little man.

In the meantime, the dog was jumping over the pile of kids and TV, while we were trying to lift it.

Where was Quinton? He, was laying on the floor, next to his confined brother, looking at the TV, "look mom, I can still see the TV" God help me!

Backwards door knob

Have you ever had to take your door knobs off and put them back on backwards to lock your kids in their room? It mind sound cruel, but trust me, Quinton was such a terror a few years ago, I had to lock him in his room to protect the rest of us.... Boy am I glad those days are over!

Fish Hooks

Have you ever found a fish hook in your towel, while drying off after a shower?
How about in your shirt, while on all fours, doing yoga in your living room?
I find damn fishing hooks everywhere. I think I currently have a pet praying mantis, a pet slug and some other kind of animal in a little aquarium on my front porch..... why didnt I have girls?

Losing Reception

I called home to remind the boys of their chores for the day, just as I started getting into the things I know they didn't want to do, Zachary started making static noises with his mouth, "Sorry mom, I am losing reception"

My Stay at home son

We are in the middle of a huge inspection at work this week. My kids have been very kind at not destroying my house while I have been working long hours. Last night I called to say I would be home late. "Like nine o' clock late?" said Zachary. I said, "I have no intention of being that late, but I dont know when I will be home." I kept in touch with the boys every 30 minutes or so, made sure they ordered a pizza, etc. I was deep in the middle of reviewing some medical records when the phone rang (It was 9:01) Zachary called me to tell me that it was after nine and I was still at work. "I didn't know I had a curfew," I said. "I was just proving a point mom, it's after nine"
I felt like I had a wife at home keeping tabs on me.

Runaway cats

It was kind of quiet tonight, I thought the boys might have settled down for the night, once the cats came flying down the stairs in a panic, it all came to light, Jerrod decided to put the cats in the bath with him...... I dont think cats like water too much.......

They look like drowned rats now, remember that old commercial with the owl and the tootsie roll? How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It kind of reminds me of that, how many licks does it take to dry the cat, they are both sitting here trying to dry themselves, it really is a site to see!

Laser Chaser

I just came home for lunch. I took Quinton to work with me to see the Doctor and follow up on the ramen noodle incident.

While I was working, he was going though my desk drawers and came across a pen/laser/pointer/flashlight gadget.

I had to yell at him a few times to stop pointing at me and others in my office.

Anyway, did you know that dogs, or at least my dog will chase a laser for hours? I was trying to figure out why she was acting so crazy, running around like a nut, to find Quinton pointing the laser on the floor and she was chasing it.....

Of course, all of them had to give it a try now.....

Guess I dont need to walk her tonight

Spiderman not Superman

This one is kind of old, but one of my favorites. While sitting in the living room one afternoon, Quinton came running down to inform me that Jerrod was going to jump out the window. (He was 6 at the time). This information was immediately followed by a loud thud against the side of the house.

Of course, I went running out back to find my six year old son dangling from the second story window by one hand, wearing a spider man costume.......

The older brothers? Well one, was behind me laughing his butt off and the other, hanging out the window waving at his dangling brother.

Jerrod managed to get himself back inside the window safely, thank goodness!

Chemical Bombs

Did you know that if you mix vinegar and baking soda and put in a sealed plastic lunch bag, it makes quite a little reaction, worthy of throwing at the neighbors house, which then looks like someone flung paint on their wall?

Flame throwers

I am sure you all knew this already, but, if you tie grill lighters to aerosol cans, you can make some pretty cool flame throwers....

Bound and Gagged

I forgot about this one, the other day, I came home to find the 8 year old bound at the wrists and ankles with packaging tape. His mouth was taped shut and he was taped to the couch. His older brothers, were upstairs, playing the wii......

My poor cat

Have you ever seen what a cat looks like, after he has been put in a box, spun around a few hundred times and slid down the stairs???

I hope the SPCA isnt reading this!

My kids have fleas

The other night, I watched in horror, as Quinton and Jerrod picked fleas off of my dog and put them in each other's hair! Give me strength!

Arm Pit Hair

Quinton just came down stairs to announce to me that he has more armpit hair than his brother......

Today's ER Visit

Today was spent in the ER with Quinton. Surprisingly enough, there were no gymnastics, daredevil stunts or fights involved this time. He just dropped a boiling bowl of Ramen noodles on his foot.
2nd degree burns, not bad, eh. Last week, it was fire works, this week, boiling noodles.... Never a dull moment

Can you imagine?

Have you ever had to ground your children for peeing on eachother?

July 5th

On the fifth of July, I was awakened by Quinton, who had an incredible story of neighborhood kids who were throwing fire works at our house. Can you imagine?

Quinton, showed me his hand, it was blistered and burned nicely. "Were you trying to catch the fire works they were throwing, Quinton?"

He finally told the truth, he had secretly hid some fire works from the night before, to try his hand at later.

You would think the fact that I smuggled some minor fireworks home, would have been enough.

Quinton was trying to set fireworks off in a bottle to see if the glass would explode.....

Water Balloons and cop cars

I was sitting in the living room a few weeks ago, Quinton and Jerrod were outside, cooling off with water balloons. I heard some tires squeal, car door slam and "GO GET YOUR MOTHER"

Of course, I went to the door to find that my dear children were throwing water balloons at passing by cars.

They were lucky enough to strike an unmarked cop car!!!! When will they learn?

Jerrod informed me quickly that he wasn't throwing them, he was just the "lookout" Quinton said, "so much for looking out" Jerrod replied, "you told me to look for open windows, not cop cars"

The hot tea incident

So, let me start by catching you up on some of the things that have been happening this summer. First, let me tell you about the hot tea incident... (readers of my scrappin outloud blog will be familiar with this story already)

On Fathers day, we spent a nice day on base at the Air Show. My father came down from PA and my brother and my 2 year old nephew were here for the day. After the thunderbirds flew, we packed it up and headed to dinner at a local chinese buffet.

As dinner was finishing, my dear middle son, asked me for a sip of my tea, because he had run out. Of course I obliged the darling 10 year old. He finished off my entire glass of tea. The boys started laughing and he gave me his cup, "just kidding mom, here you can have mine"

I took a nice big gulp of his offering...........

Now, let me preface the rest of this story with the fact that my dad mentioned earlier during dinner, that the hot sauce was really hot! Now, I have seen my old man, eat some super hot peppers from the neighbors garden, and hot sauce on anything, so for him to say its hot, means, it is HOT!

I am sure you can see where I am going with this, Yep, the glass of tea, my dear son offered me was full of hot sauce and god only knows what else........

FIRE, I tell you, my mouth was on fire, my eyes began to water and my chest started to burn. My kids of course, thought this was hysterical!

I had to send my eldest son to the car for my inhaler as I could feel my asthma kick in. I finished off my dad's drink, his GF, and started on my brothers before i was finished!

Such darling children I have, eh?

When we got in the car, to leave, my oldest son handed me a piece of paper, "I figured I am going to need this" I reached for the paper and found that my 13 year old had written his last will, "Give all my stuff to my mom"

Never a dull moment!

My three boys

As I tell all of my friends the true stories of living as a single mom of three boys, I am always told that I should write this stuff down. It is true that you cant make stuff like this up. So, I figure I spend half my day on the computer, why not blog about my three boys...............

I don't know if anyone will read this, but I am sure it will be a cathartic outlet for my life. Every day is a new adventure and life is never, ever boring with these kids.

So stop by when you can and check out my life with three boys